My First Kitchen Party

This past Saturday, Andrea and Ireen Hilty and I went to a kitchen party, i.e., bridal shower. Held for the daughter of Makeni's administrator it was a cultural first for the three of us. The sign that greeted us~"See that you excel in this grace of giving"~ caused our Western sensitivities to bristle. However, a South African said that Zambians are not offended by this. In any case, we were glad that we'd brought a gift.

The party started at 2 p.m. and in typical Zambian fashion, we arrived at 4. Guests were still arriving then, so we didn't feel so badly. Lunch had already been served to those who had arrived earlier, so we just had a soft drink. In the States if there are 20 people at a shower, it's considered a success. There were over 200 people in attendance at this kitchen party!

Under the canopy is the bride-to-be, seated with her attendants. She is veiled with a piece of fabric and is directly below the pink bow in the picture. The woman standing to her right is the master (matron?) of ceremonies. The bride-to-be, Victoria, is
waiting for her fiance before her veil is removed.

The third picture shows the groom-to-be's family surrounding him, all wearing dresses made of the same material. They enter the scene singing and dancing. The happy man is carrying a bouquet of flowers which he presents to his fiancee. Victoria presents her fiance with a cake, a picture of the both of them on top of it.

Now unveiled, Victoria sits between her attendants, the groom-to-be's family having departed. An interesting aspect of this ceremony is that the bride-to-be kept her head lowered the entire time, never meeting the eyes of another.

Next, the mother and mother-in-law are seated in chairs on the lawn (fifth picture). Victoria approaches with gifts of cakes for each of them. Before giving them these gifts, she and her attendants lay on their sides, clapping their hands in a show of respect for the mothers. After receiving the cakes, the mothers embrace Victoria. This part was especially moving to me, making me remember my son's and daughter's weddings.

After a short message by one of the women it was time to open the
presents. Another difference is that the bride-to-be does not open her own gifts. Ladies who are assisting, unwrap the presents and then hand them to the MC. She in turn holds them up and whoever gave the gift must come and claim it. Then, the giver kneels before the bride-to-be and presents the gift, explaining its use. The kneeling part was easy, the getting up not so easy!

After paying our respects to Victoria's mother we walked home, thankful for another cultural experience.