Where's Barney Fife When You Need Him?

Here’s an excerpt from an e-mail Tracy sent to our son, Neal, who is seeking employment as a police officer. “You would get quite the kick out of the local police force. They don’t have guns. They don’t have cars. They sometimes have walkie-talkies. They do have speed traps set up where they will stop you for going 3 mph over the limit. Fines are small but if they catch you talking on your cell phone in the car that is 175,000 kwacha or about $45-50. The traffic lights, or robots as they are called here, are pretty much advisory, since if you blow through a red light they can’t catch you anyway—remember no cars. Also, most of the drivers are first generation car drivers. Imagine a world with only teenage drivers and that is pretty much what Zambia looks like. It is also very scary because most Zambians walk and they don’t have a good sense of how fast cars are traveling. So you must be very careful not to hit them. You might say, well that is their problem~but in fact, if you hit a Zambian it is assumed that you are at fault and if there are many Zambians around they will drag you out of the car and beat you to death—no kidding. It happens regularly. So if you hit someone you try to quickly get them in the car and take them to the hospital or just drive to the nearest police station.” So much for the rules of the road. I’m a bit hesitant to drive in Zambia and will take my time before getting behind the wheel.